Murphy’s laws

I’ve found 27, although it reminds me of something about a slice of toast that always lands butter-side down...:

1. When you need to open a door using your only free hand, the key will be in the opposite pocket. (Fant’s Law)


2. The only times a door closes by itself are when you’ve left the keys inside. (Law of the force of destiny)


3. When your hands are covered in grease, your nose will start to itch. (Lorenz’s law of mechanics)


4. It doesn’t matter how you open a box of medicine. The leaflet will always be in the way. (Aspirino’s principle)


5. Any dull knife will still be sharp enough to cut your finger. (Fausner’s first household rule)


6. Insurance covers everything—except what actually happens. (Miller’s Insurance Law)


7. When things seem to be going better, you’ve overlooked something. (Chisholm’s Second Corollary)


8. Whenever things seem easy, it’s because we’re not following all the instructions. (Donald Westlake)


9. If you stay calm while everyone else is losing their head, you clearly haven’t grasped the problem. (Emergencio’s Principle)


10. Problems are neither created nor destroyed, only transformed. (Law of the persistence of problems)


11. No matter what goes wrong, there’s always someone who already knew it would. (Evans and Bjorn’s Law)


12. You’ll reach the phone just in time to hear it hang up. (Bess’s Second Principle)


13. The phone will ring when you’re outside frantically looking for your door keys. (Bess’s First Principle)


14. Whenever you’re about to connect to the Internet, you’ll receive the call you’ve been waiting for all day. (Dialer Principle)


15. If you’ve been waiting all day for a call, it will ring while you’re in the shower. (First Principle of Invocation)


16. If there are only two TV programs worth watching, they’ll be on at the same time. (Jones’s Television Law)


17. Stealing ideas from one person is plagiarism; stealing them from many is research. (Felson’s Law)


18. Any manufacturing entity is the last to use its own product. (Meissiner’s Law)


19. The final cost is always higher than the estimate: exactly 3.14 times the budgeted amount—hence the importance of the number PI. (Pi’s Law)


20. The one who snores is the one who falls asleep first. (Bedmate rule)


21. Those who live closest arrive last. (Law of arrival)


22. If you try to put on your pajamas without turning on the light so you don’t fully wake up, the chances of putting them on correctly are practically zero. (Gusiluz’s Law)


23. The probability of getting dirty while eating is directly proportional to how much you need to stay clean. (Soup’s gastronomic law)


24. Wind speed increases in direct proportion to the price of the hairstyle. (Reynold’s meteorological law, also known as Llongueras’ Law)


25. The chances of resting on a weekend are inversely proportional to the accumulated fatigue of the previous five days. (Law of repressed rest)


26. No matter how terrible or rare your illness was, there will always be someone who suffered one worse and rarer. (Absolute hypochondriac principle)


27. When, after years of keeping something without using it, you decide to throw it away, it won’t be more than a week before you need it. (Law of the need for more space)